Imagine that you live in the city, where you haven’t dated anybody, haven’t slept with anybody, haven’t lived with anybody. Ex-boyfriend-free-space. Sounds like heaven, right? That’s why I was so thrilled when I moved from Moscow, Russia, to Los Angeles, US.
The first thing that shocked me was the variety. I thought that Europe had all the good-looking guys but they’re all here, trust me. And everybody is unbelievably friendly. It makes it impossible to step out to throw away the trash without make-up, because you never know. Russian people don’t smile often and everybody tries to look as uninterested as they can. Russian guys can easily come over to you at the club but he’ll never do it on the street. It’s common to think that only desperate men meet girls on the street or in the open public places (stores, subway, etc).
Most American guys invite you on a date the first time they see you. A real old-school date. Let’s be honest, this cheesy Hollywood romance still works. But the most interesting part starts when the date comes to an end.
The rules here are pretty easy if you know them: if you let him pay for you at the first dinner, he’s already expecting more at the end of the date. This was hard for me, as a Russian girl, where a man always pays for a woman.
But I was completely surprised when I realized that every American guy after a date just casually asks you if you want to have sex. Yes, sex is not a mystery anymore, but it must be a bit more special than buying bread at the store. In all my dating history there were no Russian guys who have ever asked me so bluntly. Maybe Russian men rarely invite you on a date these days, but they are the best at seducing without any words.
After a couple of frustrating dates, I asked American girls what to do. They said, “if you’ve just met and you’re not sure yet if you like him, offer to have coffee with him instead of dinner and never let him pay for you.” Having coffee with a man sounds so unromantic to me! My last first date with a Russian guy ended up at 6am on the street buying a broom from a street cleaner. I think somebody famous said that nothing brings people together so much like being silly together (and not having coffee together!).
Moscow guys also appreciate their freedom more than anywhere else I’ve seen, and American guys will tell you about their girlfriend in the first 3 minutes after you’ve met! They’re so proud that they’re committed to their girlfriend that they just can’t stop mentioning it. I can’t tell you how many stories I’ve heard about Russian women that end with, “…and after 6 months, I found out that he has a wife and two kids!”
Yesterday, when I said “Sorry” to a guy at a bar in LA for being in his way, he said very seriously, “You shouldn’t be sorry, it’s your world, lady”.
Sounds like heaven.